Digging Through Life

I am a graduate student at a public university. I spend an incredible amount of time every week teaching students and counseling them on how to be better students and feel good about their decision to come to college and learn for the sake of learning. I make less than $20K/year to do this and am not guaranteed that little bit of money. I am not just a student myself; I am a teacher, a counselor and often, I am just a friend to undergraduate students who are scared to death by what the next stage in life will be. I tell them it will all work out, when I know from my own experience, that that is not often true. I am currently over $100K in debt from student loans. I drive a 12 year old car that will likely die at any moment. I have almost no luxuries in my life, because I can't afford them. I can't afford these luxuries, because I have chosen to better the world through science and education rather than only serving my own needs through a high paying job. I am getting a P...

Today is probably the 23 first day of school I have experienced in my life. It may even be the 24th or 25th if you want to count nursery/preschool. That is a scary number- almost the whole of my life can be counted in first days of school. While that number alone is scary, what is even worse is that I still get nervous when I have to walk into that classroom on the first day. I am instantly whisked back to standing at the bus stop as a first grader telling my grandmother that I have butterflies in my stomach, holding my new backpack and lunchbox, hoping that the other kids in my class like me. Why does that feeling never go away? I must admit that I do love the preparation for the first day of school! I love going to the store and picking out my new notebooks and choosing which kind of pens to buy (I only use one kind, so I don't know why I bother to look anymore). I can remember standing in the office supply store with my mom as a kid, looking up at all the different k...